Six Mistakes Men Make in Their Online Dating Profile

This time we'll address it just for the gentlemen. It's your turn, mates. Here, straight from several surveys of hundreds of women, are the top things in your personals website page that turns women off.

#1. Being a Playboy.
Oh, Captain Cabana is here to see us! What's new in the life of a shagadelic gigolo? Are you still setting their pants on fire? No? Actually, you say you're running out of coconut oil, you sprained a pectoral flexing your chest, and still nobody's called? Hmmm. You know how lack of self-esteem is a turn-off in women? Well, too much self-esteem is just as much of a turn-off in men. Women have all heard roosters crowing before, and they're sick of them.

#2. Nude or partially undressed in your photo.
Oh, God, put that thing away! Put some clothes on. All the way on. Just like you'd dress for work. Unlike men, women are not stimulated in the least, tiny bit by the sight of naked flesh on a stranger. Of any part. And posting one, particular part of your anatomy just tells women that you think that's all they want, which tells them first that you don't value any other part of yourself, and second that you know nothing about women.

#3. Bad first impression.
This is another thing that's hard for a guy to conceive of, but women read deep into the kinds of things that men would just breeze right by without noticing. So think about how your name looks when they're browsing the list of names looking for the next profile to click on. Names like 'HotRod4U', 'HellDeathLord', and 'DirtyHarry69' make great gag names on a forum or neat account names in a MMORPG, but on a dating site they work on women like Raid does on roaches.

#4. All work, no play.
That's good, you told us your career. OK, that's nice that you have a college degree. Wait, no need to go into how long you interned! Oh no, are you going to list every job? Isn't there anything here about what you do outside of work? Are you your job? Oh, look, now you're posting three references and a letter of recommendation. We give up - it sounds like you're too busy with a career to pay any attention to a girlfriend.

#5. Being too picky about looks.
You want somebody who's this tall and weighs this much and is this old? Let's get out the measuring tape... Nope, we're a quarter of a centimeter under the minimum height requirement, and we're a half a gram overweight - darn that extra celery stick we had at lunch! Men see this and think 'Well, that's a ballpark figure.' There are no ballpark figures in a woman's world. You either are or you aren't. Which means that your ideal woman will only come to you if you have a factory build you one.

#6. Mistaking a stack of pick-up lines for a profile.
Oh no, I have to write a profile! Let's pop open Google and type 'top ten pick-up lines'... enter... OK, click, here, control-C, control-V. Whew! That was hard work. And lines like 'I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.' are probably something she's never heard before. I mean, most women have probably never seen that movie!

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